What makes a great parent?
A good parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the child.
What can make a great parent is not just identified by the parent 's actions, but additionally their intention.
A great parent does not have to be ideal. No one is perfect. No kid is perfect either … keeping this in your mind is important when we set our expectations.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. Though it does not mean that we shouldn't work towards that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then our children second. We function as role models that are important for them.
Top 10 Parenting Tips
Here are 10 tips for a great parenting experience, including how you can steer clear of bad parenting, and be a much better parent.
Not all of them tend to be that simple.
Not everyone is able to do them on a regular basis.
Even though some of these may not be 100 % successful, you will be able to move ahead using the tips in this parenting guidebook.
#1 BE An excellent Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not simply tell your child what you wish them to do.
The best way to teach is showing them.
Human is a special species in part because we are able to learn by imitation. We're programmed to copy others' actions, understand them, and integrate them in to our own. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
Thus, be the person you want your child to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them good attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your child's emotion - as well as your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Demonstrate your love.
There is no such thing as loving the child of yours a lot of. To love them cannot spoil them.
Only what you decide to do (or give) in the title of love can - things like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over protection. When these items are provided in place of love that is real, that is when you will have a spoiled kid.
Loving the child of yours can be as easy as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and listening to your child's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love is able to cause the release of feel good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals are able to bring us a deep sense of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the kid, will develop resilience and also not to mention a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) with comparatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive the actions of ours, shape the personalities of ours, and essentially determine who we are. They're created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, particularly in the beginning years. They will then be able to see positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
But if you give the child of yours negative experiences, they will not have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them positive attention. Drive with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with a positive mind-set.
These positive experiences create excellent neural connections into your child's brain and form the memories individuals your kid carries for life.
When it comes to discipline, it seems hard to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior issues. But it's possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a great parent means you have to teach your child the morals of what is right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being constant will be the golden rule to discipline that is good. Be firm and kind when you set rules and enforce them. Focus on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And make it a chance for them to learn for the future in a positive manner, rather than to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR The CHILD of yours
Tey letting the child of yours realize that you'll always be there for them by being responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept your child as a person. Be a safe and warm place for your child to explore from and return to.
Children raised by parents that are constantly responsive tend to have much better psychological regulation development, interpersonal skills development, along with mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us know already the value of communication. Talk to your child and also listen to them carefully. By keeping an open line of communication, you will have a much better relationship with your child as well as your child may come for you when there is a problem.
But there's another reason for communication. You help your child integrate various parts of the brain of theirs, a critical process in a child's development.
Integration is similar to the body of ours, in which various organs should coordinate and work together to have a trully healthy body. When different regions of the brain are integrated, they can work harmoniously as an entire, meaning less tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and better mental well-being.
To do that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and the way they felt to develop attuned communication.
You don't need to provide solutions. You don't have to have all the answers to be a good parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words will help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
A lot of us want to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had a good upbringing and a happy childhood might want to alter several elements of how they were brought up.
But very frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak the same as the own parents of ours did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is a step towards understanding the reason we parent how we do. Make note of things you would like to change and think of just how you would get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Attempt to be aware and change your behavior the next time those issues come up.
Don't give up if you do not succeed at first. It will take practice, lots of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Pay attention to Your own WELL-BEING
Parents need relief too.
Give consideration to your own well being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as your own needs or maybe the health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. If you do not take note of them, they are going to become bigger problems down the road. Take time to enhance your relationship with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents are more vulnerable to fighting. Do not hesitate to request parenting help. To have some "me time" for self care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the mind.
How parents take care of their child physically and mentally will make a big difference in their parenting and family life. In case these two areas fail, the child of yours is going to suffer, too.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, for some parents, spanking can bring about short term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed relief for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the kid right from wrong. It simply teaches the kid to fear outside consequences. The child will be motivated to avoid getting caught with behavior that is inappropriate.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to your kid that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or hit is much more prone to fighting with other children. They're much more apt to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later on in life, they're additionally more apt to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, worse parent-child human relationships, mental health problems, and domestic violence victims or abusers.
You will find an assortment of better alternatives to discipline which have been shown to be more effective, such as positive discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What's your goal in increasing a child?
When you are like most parents, you would like your child to excel in college, be productive, be responsible and independent, be respectful, enjoy positive associations along with you and some, be caring and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
Though how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you are like most parents, you probably spend most of the time simply trying getting through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole-Brain child, rather than helping your child thrive, spent most of time simply trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you're feeling angry or frustrated, step back. Think about what anger and frustration will do for you or your child.
Rather, look for ways to switch each bad experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be turned into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging your child with tricks. What I mean is taking advantage of what is currently known by scientists.
Parenting is among the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting strategies, practices, or traditions have been scientifically https://parentinghowto.com/ researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for increasing a child and info that are supported by science, here is among my personal favorite science based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every kid differs. Even within the very best parenting style, there can be a variety of effective parenting practices you can choose based on your child's temperament.
A good example is using spanking to discipline. You will find many better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You can choose a non punitive discipline method that works ideal for your child.
Of course, you can additionally choose to utilize "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and might nonetheless buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has shown us that children with different temperaments react to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality is going to have better outcomes under great parenting but even worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how strong their parents treat them. But it does not imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice may not be the easiest way to parent. It might require more work on the part of yours in the short term but can help you save lots of time and agony in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it's also really rewarding. The bad part is the rewards usually come later than the hard work. But if we try our best today, we will eventually reap the rewards and also have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!